Roll #1
The Joy
In this pandemic, of Covid and subsequently of being alone and thinking often, I have discovered the joy of shooting film. A tangible step away from the fast pace shutter clicks we have all been taught to chase, in film there is pause, there is time, patience, and many unknowns. It is not endless like digital that enables thousands, it is just 38 shots on a roll of 35 mm, and there is an interesting balance between being selective but not too precious. It must be used.
I have always loved photography and on occasion I have been told I have some talent, by biased, beloved friends of course. I am unsure what constitutes talent in a world where many have lenses no bigger than a thumb tack tucked away in their pockets and I am intimidated by the saturation of our globalized living, of instagram where everything is made seemingly perfect and professional. But I am more so constrained by myself. Recently I realized I am a creative, actually a friend told me this. I have always been one but I have never given it merit or attention, and I have never said it out loud. It makes me uncomfortable to make such grand claims: “I am a storyteller or I am a baker.” I prefer “sometimes I write, sometimes I bake bread, or sometimes I take pictures.” I don’t mean to be self deprecating, I mean to be humble, a trait I admire greatly, and to express the opinion that one rarely masters anything. There is always room to learn more.
In the past few months I have learned through many errors. I have exposed film to light, spooled film around the advancer backwards, and shot an entire roll of film only to open the camera and find it empty, I never reloaded it. Amidst the trials and tribulations of adjusting to the analog, this is the outcome of my first roll of film shot on a Canon AE-1 Program given to me a few years ago by a sweet friend. Besides straightening things here and there I plan to leave these photos largely untouched, over exposed, under exposed, in focus or not, however they come out that is how they will be.
